A friend told me once that you don’t know fear until you become a parent. 

They sure eh lie. 

When he stumbles, my heart beats faster. 

When he falls, my heart and voice stops in my throat until I know he is OK. 

When water splashes on him, I hold my breath hoping he can hold his. 

Then there’s nights like tonight. Nights when reports of crimes against women and children in my country make my stomach turn and eyes well up. You see, this week, a 13 year old boy had his throat slit with such savagery that the knife knocked part of his spine. 

What de ass I just read is what I thought as fear gripped me whilst reading the story. Real fear. 

Then I watched a news clip that featured the sound of this young man’s mother as she bawled out for her son after hearing of his death. 

How is she to find her breath ever again? How is she ever to find the peace of understanding or taste forgiveness. 

I weep for her. We all do. 

Well, the Triniparents do. The ones reading this that, like me, cannot imagine the terror that poor boy, and now his family felt. 

For the first time in forever, I feel helpless and, now, as a parent I feel honestly terrified. 

You, like me are struggling to understand how, as a parent whose child’s stumble leads to holding one’s breath, this mother… Hell this family, is ever to breathe again. 

All I can share are my condolences and prayers. For the first time in forever, I am speechless. 

We failed this little boy. Our nation must do better. 

Someone saw. Someone knows. I pray that the ‘someones’ find their breath, voice and courage damn soon. 

Justice delayed is not justice denied. Justice, does not, however, bring back. The breath of life. 

Let’s pray for our country. Let’s do better as parents. Let’s demand better for our country and work harder for it. 

Oh and if you are asking me to point a finger as to whose fault this heinous crime is, don’t waste your breath. 

I’m over the violence. I’m over the finger pointing. 

Do Not disturb. I’m locking my burglar proofing, saying my prayers and breathing now, because his family likely can’t. 

The time for better is now.